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Lisa Cotter. July 2, 10, 0. FOCUS missionaries do a lot of crazy things. They fundraise their salaries. They move to wherever they are told throughout the country. They talk to strangers about Jesus. But perhaps one of the most shocking things they do is give up dating for an entire year.

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I say not really. Instead of you being in control of the espresso, the espresso was in control of you. And for those who are not currently dating, this fact can turn into something they just have to obsess about. I call that a pretty undesirable side effect.

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Sounds a lot like our espresso, huh? Below are just a few of the desirable side effects of a dating fast.

If you choose to take the fast on, you just might experience some of these yourself. If you want to be free from always having to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have learn to live without one.

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This is not to say that we should isolate ourselves from others and learn to be independent, but rather, learn how to be in true community. In a community you have a variety of relationships, not just a significant other.

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When you step back from dating you can better look around at the bigger picture and see where you can strengthen your relationships and ultimately where you can better serve. When you go on a dating fast you stop seeing every person of the opposite sex as a potential date. This frees you to get to know them without analyzing them and to love them as a sister or brother in Christ.

Learning to not NEED a relationship while on the fast helps you to make better decisions about entering into one after. If you are comfortable with your single life, you are less likely to jump into the first opportunity for a date, and thus you increase your chances of avoiding the wrong relationship. A dating fast can be an amazing opportunity to discern more intensely your Vocation. This time can provide an opportunity for you to listen freely to God, without the distraction of potential relationships.

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Oftentimes it is easy to want a relationship because you feel like something is missing in your life, and you think a boyfriend or girlfriend can fix that. While if you are called to marriage, there will be a special place in your heart that only your spouse can fill, your spouse will never be your Savior.

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A fast is the perfect time to allow Jesus to pursue your heart and take His proper place in there, so when that special person comes along you are ready to welcome him or her, without putting the pressure on that person to fulfill some of your fundamental needs of security and purpose that only Jesus can satisfy. Finally, many of us have scars and regrets from past relationships that haunt us and prevent us from the freedom Christ wants for us.

We were made to love and be loved, not live in guilt with hard hearts. A fast can be a time of healing as you reorder your heart to Christ and allow Him to show you His plan and design for love and your life.

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So the question is still up in the air - you wanna go on a dating fast? Even if it's only for 6 months instead of a year, I still think it's a worthy pursuit for anyone who thinks the above side effects sound desirable.

If you really dive into it wholeheartedly, I think you'll look back and thank yourself, and maybe one day your spouse will, too. Dear divorce, Thanks to you, I learned nothing on earth lasts as long as it should. Lisa Cotter July 2, 10, 0.

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Share Tweet. I CAN live with or without you If you want to be free from always having to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have learn to live without one.

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